Nonsensical BlackIce
by fangirl05
Summary: Fluffy, early morning BlackIce, because that's the best kind of BlackIce :) Rated for some innuendo towards the end.


**A/N: Now this is more like the stuff I usually come up with: Early morning slice of life - type sweetness. It always makes me so happy ^w^.**

* * *

There was a Pitch stuck to him again. Seriously, how did Pitch always manage to go from the other side of the bed to twisted around him like this?

Jack's neck was sore from a combination of hanging over the crook of Pitch's elbow and being sandwiched between the Boogeyman's arm and head, but he couldn't deny that the closeness and warmth was nice. Contrary to popular belief, and possibly logic, Jack really didn't have any problem with high temperatures; He could handle pretty much the same kind of heat a human could. His feet may have been a little more durable, but he'd been walking around barefoot for three hundred years, so.

He nudged Pitch's ribs gently with his elbow. "Pitch, lemme up."

Pitch made a noise that reminded Jack of a disgruntled cow and... Did he... Did he just bite a lock of Jack's hair?

"Pitch, come on, seriously" Jack said insistently, bonking the back of his head against what he hoped was Pitch's nose, "I got stuff to do."

Pitch spat the hair out of his mouth with an exaggerated '_pah_.' "Sleep now," he grumbled and somehow managed to tighten his hold on Jack, "stuff later."

Maybe there was no point to it, but Jack still tried to flounder his way out of Pitch's grip anyway. "Y'know," he grumbled during, "Some of us have to be_ up_ at the crack of dawn, rather than_ in_."

Pitch loosed an obviously fake yawn. "So tired."

With Jack Pitch's version of 'forewarned,' the Boogeyman tugged his arms out of the way and flopped over onto his stomach. Flat on top of Jack.

"What the-!" Of course Jack was outraged. It didn't help that he couldn't even lift his right arm with Pitch's chest on top of it. "Hey! Pitch, get off me!" Jack couldn't even butt him in the face with the back of his head in this position, for God's sake!

"I can't hear you, I'm asleep" Pitch reminded him, then started up a session of very obnoxious fake snoring to prove his point.

Jack chuckled at Pitch's lunacy and suddenly felt the spirit's head lift off of him. Pitch was smiling a little disconcertingly brightly when he turned his head to face him.

"Ah, now _there's_ the reaction I was looking for." Pitch heaved himself off Jack back to where he'd been lying a second ago, folding his hands behind his head mid-flight. Jack raised his eyebrow at him as he swung his legs over the bedside.

"Did you seriously do all that just to get me to laugh?"

Pitch did his own version of raising his eyebrow in reply. "Do you have any idea how much it strokes my pride to be able to make the Guardian of Fun laugh?" Something seemed to occur to him, and judging by the scowl that tugged at half of his mouth it wasn't something pleasant. "Yech." Yep, definitely unpleasant. "I'm never gonna get over that, sleeping with one of you Guardians." He shuddered. "It makes me feel dirty. And not the kind I use you for."

"Oh, gee, thanks. Get over it" Jack frowned. Pitch flopped over mostly onto his stomach again, this time to throw his arm across Jack's lap.

"And _there's_ the eloquence and insight that first attracted me to you."

"You just called me stupid" Jack said. Pitch beamed up at him.

"Hmm, maybe I don't need you around to convince myself I'm brilliant after all. But just so we're clear:" He locked his fingers together and tugged Jack against his chest. Even leaning on his elbows, his chin still hung over the boy's shoulder without an issue. "If you are not in this bed when I get back, I will hunt you down and _tie_ you to it."

Jack smirked. "Is that your way of saying you love me?"

"You wish, boy." Pitch smacked a kiss on Jack's lips. "All right," he rolled onto his back again and flicked his near hand dismissively at Jack, "go do your Guardian work. And throw some fertilized chicken eggs in with the rabbit's mutants for me when you get the chance."

"Eh, you know he has a name, right?" Jack asked as he pulled on his sweater.

"Yeah, I don't care." Pitch yawned again, for real this time, and turned onto his stomach with his head pillowed on his folded arms. "Don't wake me up unless something goes horribly wrong." He smirked as Jack tugged his pants up. "And you suddenly coming down with an erection doesn't count." His eyes sparkled in his darkly playful way. "Save it for tonight, when I'm running at full throttle."

Jack shrugged and rocked back on his heels. "You know, you're not the only one who can see me" he said, apparently thinking out loud, "If I do get horny during the day and you're not up to snuff, I could always track someone else down."

"Right" Pitch drawled. He dropped his head back onto his arms and closed his eyes, signaling that the conversation was over. Jack hooked his foot under his staff and tapped it against his shoulder when he caught it.

He was halfway down the hall out when Pitch decided to talk to him through the shadows:

_"If you come home smelling like rabbit sex, I will dip you in the first kind of acid I can find."_

"You too!" Jack called, and then he was out of the tunnel.

* * *

**A/N: I imagine Pitch and Jack's days work something like this: Early morning snarkiness, Jack works during the day while Pitch sleeps, Pitch does kinky stuff to Jack when he gets home at night, Pitch goes off to scare kids until the early hours, he comes home and goes from one side of the bed to the other, and repeat.**

**Are you smiling yet? You know you're smiling.**


End file.
